Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
