i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize