in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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