I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
