dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Houston, we have a squirter
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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