Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
