very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
