Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
