Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
