she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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