really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
