his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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