i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
