where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
