I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
