is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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