Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
