wat bout pragnant strippers??
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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