If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
