My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
