He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
