bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
