she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize