normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
