he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
