he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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