you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
