By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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