dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Two words: blizzard sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
