can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
