I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
