You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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