I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
