Plan B is the new Plan A
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
