I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
