The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
