My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
