Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
