In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
