i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize