Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
