break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
