Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
