She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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