i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
