Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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