And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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