PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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