C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
