So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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