i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
