Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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