i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
