well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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