we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
