my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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