you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
