It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
