that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
