If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
