I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize