please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
