i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
