i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's great music for shaving your balls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
