"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
