The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
