Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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