And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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